Loose Lips	Loose Lips Archive

Many believe that eating animal dick will make their own work better English abounds in words for the penis, but Miss Poubelle finds it rather splendid that there is a special word that refers only to the penis of an animal. The word is pizzle. This word is found in English beginning in the early 16th century, where it is variously spelled peezel, peisill, peezle, and pissle. One of the first uses of the word in English is a 1544 remedy which instructs users to "Take the peisill of an harte [i.e. a deer], and drie it into pouder."

View our poll archive

The use of pizzles in folk remedies didn't end in the renaissance. Among the many wondrous things that you can purchase over the Internet is a packet of deer pizzles, which will be shipped to you from a company in New Zealand. In Asian medicine, pizzles of various sorts are still used as aphrodisiacs and impotence remedies. The sellers of these deer pizzles suggest soaking them in whisky or cognac and consuming them bit by bit. While Miss Poubelle would not be surprised to learn that some users find pizzle-ingestion helpful (due to the well-known placebo effect), she must admit that the image of a middle-aged businessman dutifully chewing on a dried deer penis strikes her as rather hilarious. It remains to be seen whether Viagra will destroy the pizzle market, but Miss Poubelle's broker has advised her to get rid of all her pizzle stock and buy Pfizer instead.

The Asian use of pizzles to cure impotence is what anthropologists call sympathetic magic-- the idea that like affects like. Since male animals are symbols of virility, the idea is that their sexual power can be transferred to another person who ingests part of them. (The poor rhinoceros is close to extinction for the simple reason that its horn reminds some people of a penis.) Cannibals gave the same rational for eating the hearts or brains of their victims-- they hoped to capture the ideas and bravery of those they consumed.

We may not use dried pizzles much in this country anymore, but there is still a thriving market in homeopathy, which operates on essentially the same principle. The basic principle of homeopathy is that like cures like. To cure a fever, homeopaths prescribe a minute quantity of a substance that causes fever. Miss Poubelle is skeptical, but some people swear by it.

For those readers who place more trust in ancient remedies than modern pharmaceuticals, pizzles are a bargain compared to Viagra. And you need not be concerned that the pizzles you buy from New Zealand will be inferior, since that country's Ministry of Agriculture has strict rules for the inspection and processing of pizzles. Those who buy their pizzles from other countries will just have to take their chances. Miss Poubelle can just imagine the advertising campaign: "Look for the New Zealand label, when you are buying a pizzle to chew!"