February 1999 Cover
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By
Cody Campbell
Minute Man, Part 16
Rating: 3 Stars
Buckshot Productions. Directed by: Rip
Colt. Edited by William Negra.
Videography by Richard Kashanski. Music
by Bart Simms. Starring Carl Hardwick,
Rowdy Nash, and J.D. Amos.
How to order
This is the Martha Stewart standard of solo porn videos, a meticulously detailed, lushly shot epic of beefy men in all their naked bodybuilder glory, complete with a soundtrack to rival a Hollywood blockbuster. If this is your preference, you'll like watching these guys as much as they seem to enjoy watching themselves. The production values are all superb: videography, lighting, and sound. The music is a bit over the top, from schmaltzy soap-operatic piano music that builds and swells like "Rocky's Theme" in the first scene to cowpoke orchestrations that sound suspiciously like an Aaron Copland symphony.
We start with J.D. Amos, showering in the great outdoors, the camera feasting on every nook and cranny of his magnificent body before he towels off, applies sunscreen, then retires to the leopard-spotted sheets of his boudoir, where he engages in some serious pud-pulling. He leaves the viewer with a gauzy smoldering look and a satisfied smirk. A postcard mountain shot opens the next scene, with rugged, hirsute, strawberry blond gardener Rowdy Nash coming to work at the villa. The camera lingers lovingly on his sunlit, sweat-starred chest and arm hair, his dancing chest and shoulder muscles as he works diligently. But the sounds of porn playing on the large-screen TV in the house soon lure our hero to abandon his hedge clippers in favor of a jerk-off session on the couch. Last is cover-man Carl Hardwick, quite possibly better built than Arnold Schwarzenegger. Manly Carl drives a manly Range Rover to his manly (yet tasteful) cabin in the woods, where he strips, admires his physique before the mirror, dons chaps, then masturbates. In a "bonus" scene, Carl soaps up in the shower before giving the camera a charming smile and thumbs up.
| Author Profile: Cody Campbell |
| Cody lives in Boston and claims to have Od'ed on porn. |
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