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September 2000 Cover
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By
Giacomo Tramontagna
Love Inn Exile
Rating: 1 Star
Produced by Greg Nimer. Directed by Thor Stephens. Written by Greg Nimer and Thor Stephens. Cast includes Tommy Cruise, Dereck Bishop, Derek Cameron, and Kristian Brooks.
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In this slickly produced softcore mistake, Tommy Cruise plays a nerdling who checks into Inn Exile, the Palm Springs clothing-optional resort, and sits fully clothed by the pool pretending to read Marcia Clark's
Without a Doubt. Whenever toothsome fellow guest Dereck Bishop appears, Cruise has attacks of the vapors. The ups and downs of this relationship are analyzed in preternaturally twerpy voice-overs. ("When he smiled at me for
the first time, I knew that was the moment that would change my life.") The sexual high point is provided by a triad of limp-dicked supporting players.
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