Common Sense	Common Sense Archive

I can never stop studying my fellow humans, mostly those of the male persuasion. I love to watch when two men or more interact. Many things come to mind. First is: why are there so many of us? Where did we come from? I am with the evolutionists but I can understand why some people would be attracted to the junk "science" of the so-called Intelligent Design. People are comfortable with creation myths. I suspect all cultures have them; many of the creation myths have similar features. We seem to ask the same questions that we asked as children-- "Why?" "How Come?"-- it's just that we ask them in more complex ways. Why did we evolve such big brains? Look what a wren or a sparrow can do with its small brain!

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I recall a memorable comment by Gore Vidal-- there are so many of them-- in one of his essays. He had taken a female friend to a club for gay men in the late 40s or early 50s. His friend was married to an army officer. After they left the club, Gore asked what she thought. She remarked that it reminded her of men at the Officers' Club. To her eyes, male behavior, no matter the venue, must have appeared pretty much the same. Or, it could have been that the Officers' Club was filled with a lot of gay men in uniform. Who knows?

I recall the ambience of the college clubs I used to frequent when young. There always seemed to be the potential for violence hovering about. When I discovered gay clubs, there was a completely different feel, no matter which class they catered too. Sporters was a famous gay watering hole here in Boston (alas, now long gone) and I remember the day when I heard the rumor that the first fist had been thrown at Sporters on a crowded Saturday night, just shortly after the Stonewall Riots, as it happened. My hope was that this didn't presage a trend; I didn't want the special refuge-like quality of gay clubs to go the way of the sports bar. Just yesterday, a friend who works as a pianist on cruise ships, told me a friend of his was on a cruise with his boyfriend. They were holding hands while having drink in one of the ship's bars. A man came over and punched him in the head. Why would a person do such a thing? Is this the result of Intelligent Design? Or just too much grog on the high seas?

Is the aggressive behavior I see in so many men hard-wired or learned or a little bit of both? Most of the time I find this behavior boorish and probably socially unproductive. I am inclined to the consensus building more characteristic of women in groups. Women also listen better, in general, than do men. I have known some very successful men-- a politician and a filmmaker, just to name two-- who will look at you intensely while you lay out your presentation and then will go on as if you hadn't said anything. I don't find this particularly rude (others do), just strange.

Can men change their behavior? Why do men behave in one manner in all-male environments and in another in co-sexual situations? Most violence against women in this country, and around the world in fact, comes from men, individually and institutionally. I will give a nod to the late Andrea Dworkin for her work in making violence against women her primary issue, but Andrea worked her way into a false analysis and got marginalized for, among other reasons, her battle against the sex industry. It so often seemed Dworkin was at war with a host of her own demons, but she is gone now, having left her footprint. Once I had been educated about violence in heterosexual relationships, I was unnerved to find out about violence in lesbian relationships and, later, in gay male relationships. In my atlas, this wasn't supposed to be on the map, even though, at age 18, out on my own and at one of my first gay parties-- A Christmas party, as it happened-- I witnessed one man brutally attack his partner and attempt to strangle him (they were having a bitter breakup, as one was planning to take a new lover; that's what I was later told). So my debut in gay society was breaking up a violent encounter in a collapsing couple-- and setting up the gay Christmas tree, which had taken a tumble in the tussle. Joyous Noel, indeed. Thus it's possible I have conveniently blanked out the violence in our community I have seen over the years. My wish has always been for a less violent and confrontational society, but that hope seems to be receding, especially in a time when the culture is increasingly militarized-- a period from the beginning of the Cold War through today, with a slight ebbing in the mid-to-late 1970s.

My recommendation? Think better thoughts about others and sing "Amazing Grace." Our kind is still a work of progress and, if we don't destroy the resources of the planet, and most of the other species along the way, we may evolve into a better design, intelligent or unintelligent.

Author Profile:  Mitzel
	Mitzel was a founding member of the Fag Rag collective, and has been a Guide columnist since 1986. He manages Calamus Books near Boston's South Station.
	Email:	mitzel@calamusbooks.com
	Website:	calamusbooks.com