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Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Rating: 3 Stars
Produced and written by Tony Alizzi. Directed by Tony Alizzi and Jack Francis. Videography by Jett Blakk. Edited by Ann Igma. Starring Cole Tucker, Jason Branch, Blake Harper, Thom Barron, Steve Cassidy, Logan Reed, Michael Brandon, Cameron Cruise, Tony DeAngelo, Matt Bradshaw, and Joe Dixon.
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Crusty Marine Colonel Cole Tucker is hauled before an investigative hearing intended "to look into the effectiveness of the government's current policy addressing gays in the military-- 'don't ask, don't tell.'" Peering at the judge with an astute squint, he says, "I assume I'm now going to be asked to comment on a subject I'm required not to talk about." He assumes correctly. In courtroom sequences that owe something to the Jack Nicholson vehicle A Few Good Men, the presiding officers press for detailed anecdotes about sexual carryings on. Amid strident speeches about the oppressive absurdities of "don't ask, don't tell," we're offered four flashbacks to outbreaks of erotic whoopie at old Camp Pendleton.

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Most of the sex here is forced on underlings or civilians by horny, closeted Marines. The politics of these scenes may make some viewers cringe, but the sex is hot. In the second episode, Matt Bradshaw and Chad Donovan grab Blake Harper in a men's room; the ensuing oral marathon includes a remarkably sustained dick-docking sequence. In the concluding segment, a celebratory, completely non-coercive seven-man orgy breaks out after hours in a clandestine gay servicemen's bar. Here Cole Tucker, a passionate sexual performer in his late forties, is allowed to stop speechifying and do what he does best: blowing cigar smoke into Logan Reed's armpit, stuffing his jockstrap into Tuck Johnson's mouth, spitting on the top of Michael Brandon's orally occupied head, and much, much more.