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 Book Review Book Reviews Archive  
April 2008 Email this to a friend
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Pinking the Couch
By Michael Bronski

Peek: Inside the Private World of Public Sex
by Joseph Couture
Haworth Press
How to order Acting Straight: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding Love
Angelo Pezzote
Kensington
How to order

Probably you're thinking the last thing we need is a queer Dr. Phil. And it's true, historically, that professional therapeutic and relationship advice for homosexuals has never been very useful, or even kind. Sure, while the Drs. Charles Socarides and Irving Bieber -- the two men most responsible for psychoanalytically demonizing homosexuality in the 1950s and '60s -- were the extreme example of ignoring doctoring's "first do no harm" imperative, many other therapists, often well meaning, have hurt more than helped.

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Angelo Pezzote gets billed on his book jacket as a "leading gay psychotherapist, presenter, and journalist." An odd triptych, and I'm not quite sure what a "presenter" is -- a motivational speaker in shrink's clothing? But it turns out that Pezzote's Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding Love (Kensington, 224 pages, $15) is actually interesting and worthwhile. One of his main thrusts (I use the word advisedly) is that gay male culture has stumbled by emulating the more obnoxious aspects of straight male behavior in an attempt to, well, be more like straight men. You might object that most straight men can't even get it together to be like straight men. But Pezzote argues that this macho, "straight-acting" impersonation -- he calls it a "pose" -- is really a dead end that obstructs gay relationships.

Many readers might already know Pezzote through his popular syndicated column, "Ask Angelo" (he's sort of the anti-Dr. Laura). There's some of that here -- letters from readers are scattered throughout. The themes here will also ring a bell for anyone in a gay-lib consciousness-raising group in the early '70s or who dipped into Radical Fairy circles in the '90s. Which is to say that lots of gay men have never really heard this message before. Pezzote has a friendly, chatty style and he hammers home his points in every chapter: "The Culprit: Masculinity and its Influences," "How Masculinity Increases Gay Men's Health Risks, Stress, and Self-destructiveness," "How Masculinity Affects Gay Male relationships, Including Isolation."

Pezzote quotes Lance Bass claiming that he dislikes stereotypes and likes meeting SAGs like himself: Straight-Acting Guys who love to watch football and drink beer -- and, one wonders, get fucked up the ass? Pezzote notes that this is a "perfect example of downplaying our gayness with a straight-acting component to be seen in a more flattering way."

Aside from Lance Bass being the biggest queen in the world (well, one of them), he has no business blathering on like this, Pezzote suggests. The author's point is well taken: what the fuck is wrong with being a gay stereotype? Or being a gay whatever?

Some of Acting Straight borders on psychobabble and feel-good Dr. Philisms -- "The roots of homophobia are planted deep in men's minds..." (not that Dr. Phil would ever actually say this). But Pezzote has way with a quick, pithy one-liner and the thought-provoking proposition: e.g, "Loneliness and masculinity aren't separate, they're inextricably linked." The ideals of traditional masculinity, however that's defined, have been on the decline over the past three decades. At least, Western masculinity has undergone enormous changes; even Lance Bass probably admits that real men eat quiche while guzzling beer and watching football. Robert Bly's attempts to shore up masculinity in his popular (but now mostly forgotten) 1990 Iron John were silly and pointless. There are plenty of ways to be a man, and straight-acting is one of the least attractive. In the end the message of Straight Acting is don't: in fact -- act gay, be gay, do gay, and be happy being gay. Not such a bad idea.

Through curtains and keyholes

Joseph Couture's Peek: Inside the Private World of Public Sex (Haworth Press, 198 pages, $24.95) is a wonderful guide book, etiquette manual, and semi-pornographic "peek" into the world of public and semi-public sex. Couture delves into the erotic world of parks, bars, backrooms, bathhouses, cruising spots, and beaches and does not shirk the details as he explains the basic social mechanisms by which such sex venues work so well.

Written in a chatty style, Peek is informative, engaging, and politically sharp. In a world in which sex is constantly relegated to the bedroom and the domestic sphere -- gay marriage anyone? -- Peek tells us that sex is a form of social interaction and play, not simply a matter for adults in the privacy of their own home.

Author Profile:  Michael Bronski
Michael Bronski is the author of Culture Clash: The Making of Gay Sensibility and The Pleasure Principle: Sex, Backlash, and the Struggle for Gay Freedom. He writes frequently on sex, books, movies, and culture, and lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Email: mabronski@aol.com


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