December 2007 Cover
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By
Giacomo Tramontagna
Teacher's Pet
Rating: 1 Star
Produced and directed by Jim Steel. Videography by Brad Austin and Ralph Parfait. Edited by D3. Starring Brad Benton, Brant Moore, Jesse Santana, Tristan Matthew, Kyle
Aames, Jayden Holloway, Mark Cirriano, Trevor Knight, David Goldwyn, and Mark Slade.
How to order
Built around a vaguely scholastic theme, the five sketches in
Teacher's Pet have titles like "Homework" and "Learning His Lesson," but almost nothing has been thought through -- you
may wonder if the director, Jim Steel, ever visited the set. There's no dialogue, even in scenes where its absence feels weird, but the overall ineptitude suggests that silence is a blessing.
A framing device seems to promise a three-way among smoldering David Goldwyn, the normally reliable Trevor Knight, and big, muscular Mark Slade (who plays their teacher), but
their culminating episode, "Detention," is a bust. The trio's big moment is an awkward, forgettable jerkoff session guaranteed to leave viewers feeling baffled and ripped off.
The one episode worth watching is the opener, "Home Ex," which unites Brad Benton, Brant Moore, and a banana. Redeemed by the models, who should be paired again by a real
director, the scene doesn't quite raise the grade of this bungled assignment from F to D.
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