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Conserve at all costs your semen, goes a school of Eastern mysticism-- with the claim that spunk is packed with vital energy that the body strains to replace. Packed with dangerous toxins turns out to be more on the mark. Much of what's in semen is excreted by the prostate gland, and flushing out the prostate with frequent masturbatory orgasms-- especially when one is young-- appears to be fortify the gland against cancer, the way taking out the garbage freshens kitchen air. The most avid chronic wankers, say researchers in Australia, can cut their risk of aggressive prostate cancer by one-third.

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That's the upshot of a study led by Graham Giles of Melbourne's Cancer Council Victoria comparing the sex practices of 1079 men with prostate cancer with 1259 same-aged cancer-free controls. It turns out that the latter group spilled, on average, a lot more seed earlier in life.

Men who had an average of five ejaculations a week in their 20s were one-third less likely to suffer aggressive prostate cancer later on. (Researchers neglected to examine the health benefits of teenage boys masturbating, perhaps assuming that's all they do.) But the prostate-protecting benefits of wanking to persist at least through age 50, says Giles in the British Journal of Urology International (vol. 92).

Prior research had shown that men who have the most sex have upwards of 40 percent more prostate cancer later on. So the working assumption had been: the more lifetime ejaculations, the greater prostate risk. But researchers-- embarrassed? clueless?-- had previously failed to ask men about ejaculations from masturbation.

The difference matters, for from the standpoint of prostate hygiene not all orgasms are created equal. Ejaculations that result from sticking a cock in a rectum, vagina, or mouth have a small but sure chance of gaining their owners more than orgasmic pleasure-- an infection, for instance. And sexually-transmitted bugs increase the risk of prostate cancer. Unless a wanker prefers cow dung to KY, masturbatory ejaculations are-- infection-wise though not necessarily laundry-wise-- "clean."

Could be the cancer risk of non-masturbatory ejaculations be overstated? Men with prostate cancer-- self-conscious about their dysfunctioning urology-- might conceivably paint for doctors a rosier-than-actual sexual past. But if so, the benefits of masturbation Giles found would be even clearer. In the West, anyway, males don't score points by exaggerating how much they jerk off.

Refreshing semen bath

Why regularly flushing the prostate helps ward off cancer is not clear. One theory is that toxins build up in the gland. Eastern mystics are right in claiming semen as an elaborately refined bodily fluid. Compared to the blood, from which its constituents are drawn, semen has far higher-- up to 600-fold-- concentrations of potassium, zinc, citric acid, and fructose (why, spunk sounds like a health drink!). But the process of concentrating all these sperm-vitalizing substances also brings in unwelcome guests. In dogs, at least, carcinogens such as 3-methylcholanthrene, a pollutant in cigarette smoke, also concentrate in prostate fluid. Sex hormones naturally in semen could also be a risk factor.

"It's a prostatic stagnation hypothesis," Giles told New Scientist. "The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them." If so, there's maybe a parallel between the prostate and mammary glands-- besides the fact that both produce "cream." Women who breast-feed have less breast cancer, maybe because they also flush carcinogens out their milk glands-- pity their sucklings.

Other causal mechanisms could be involved, too. More frequent ejaculation may induce prostate cells to toughen and mature, and so make them more resilient against toxins. No one is sure.

What's certain, though, is that in a world of chalky, gummy fat-free ice "cream" and tasteless, fiberboard energy bars, a call to self-pleasure for the sake of health is a sweet prescription.