March 2006 Cover
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Last month school officials in Brockton,
Massachusetts, suspended a six-year-old first
grader for "sexually harassing" a classmate.
Allegedly, he put two fingers inside the waistband
of a
female first-grader during class. No further contact
was alleged.
The case generated national attention with
most commentary suggesting that it was absurd to
charge a toddler with sexual harassment. Editorials,
psychologists, and educators
parroted the same line: six-year-olds don't have an
understanding of sexuality and thus it's unfair to
punish them for sexual harassment.
While such challenges to the school's
absurd policy are welcome, they are terribly flawed.
Implicit in these criticisms is the notion that had
the boy's interest indeed been sexual,
severe punishment would be warranted. And to
suggest that a pre-pubescent child is incapable of
sexual curiosity and interest is to deny human
reality. Ironically, critics of the Brockton
school officials raise more alarms about what
sexual values we are teaching kids than does the
misguided disciplinary action itself.
Think back to your own childhood: don't
you have memories of Janie showing the boys at
recess, away from teachers' eyes, how she was
different "down there"? of engaging in
peeing contests with other boys, all eagerly
checking out the willies thereby on display? of
concocting elaborate doctor games that required
getting naked for various "treatments" that focused
on private parts? Kinsey confirms that
many toddlers go further, engaging in explicit
sexual activity.
Of course, none of this sex play is
surprising; humans are born with genitals, a libido,
and curiosity. There is nothing peculiar about a
youngster expressing sexual interest-- indeed, it
would be odd if they didn't.
But recent advances in sexual freedom for
adults have been offset by a new mythology about
the asexuality of kids. "Playing doctor" used to be
seen as harmless experimentation;
now it can lead to sanctions and legal charges. The
anti-sexual attitudes that formerly constrained
adult actions are now all focused on enforcing
(supposed) childhood chastity and purity. And
just as sexual fears and punishments do not make
for happy, well-adjusted adults, neither do they
create happy, well-adjusted children.
Teaching kids that any sexual expression
portends calamity is itself child abuse.
Indoctrinating kids that sex is so destructive that
they must be shielded from its taint is a
rotten foundation for healthy sexual attitudes later
in life.
Kids need, of course, education on how and
when to express their sexual curiosity. Such
instruction should be based on the same sensible
values we expect in all sorts of
human interactions: consideration of others and
anticipation of consequences. We do not
masturbate on the bus, not because masturbation
is wicked, but because it would upset others. We
refrain from making unwanted sexual comments
not because sex is vile, but because any unwelcome
comments are potentially rude. We do not touch
other people-- neither their private nor
public parts-- if they do not want to be touched.
Instead of mythologizing childhood
asexuality and constantly warning children of the
awful perils of sex, let us demand a more humane
and sensible approach. Let us insist that sex
be dealt with more honestly and positively. By
treating sexuality as something to celebrate rather
than fear, we'll be teaching a lesson the whole
world needs to hear.
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