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Dull minds can't dim bright lights
By
Mitzel
The fabulous Colt Studio recently celebrated its 40th birthday. Colt Studio is based in San Francisco. On February 23rd of this year, the Mayor's office declared that day to be "Colt Studio Day." The Mayor of San Francisco
is Gavin Newsom. The paperwork carrying this declaration carried the Mayor's signature and was presented by a city worker from the Mayor's Office of Neighborhood Services.
According to an SF press account (The
Chronicle): "Newsom's office issues nearly 2000 proclamations a year, most covering such innocuous topics as Australian Heritage Day and Graffiti Watch Day." (Perhaps the
organizers of the Australian Heritage Day, who no doubt put in long hours, might disagree that their fine contributions should be characterized as "innocuous," as, after all, Australia has its own history of
controversy.) Among these 2000 proclamations, only the Colt citation was singled out by the right-wingers.
A
certain male personality on the Fox Network, suffering a hemorrhage of viewers, attacked San Francisco and its Mayor. A Southern California minister, attached to a group that says it advocates for "traditional values,"
went on a tear and was duly horrified. This story did not get the national spread that, just days later, another anti-gay story did, when some famous loudmouth, speaking in front of a roomful of movement conservatives (when I
write the word movement, I associate it with the word "bowel"), referred to a Democratic Presidential aspirant as a "faggot," to much laughter and applause from the movement. (The previous year, at the same bowel forum, she
made reference to a group of people as "ragheads"; for someone who makes as much money as she does, I would recommend she try to grow her basic 600-word vocabulary.)
The right-wing frothers didn't set off the earthquake they hoped for-- and won't they be in high rapture when the Big One rolls through the Bay Area?-- but the office of the Mayor did admit that it will review, and perhaps,
change, its current policy of issuing celebratory proclamations. I sincerely hope that this will not put in jeopardy the day celebrating Australian Heritage, or the Poodle Association, or the South of Market Spanking Day. I don't know
what the Mayor of San Francisco is paid, but I suspect it's not enough!
Despite the right-wing scream-fest-- and, really, these people should be out planting trees or taking hot meals to shut-ins-- the Colt Studio Birthday Party went off without a hitch. State Assemblyman Mark Leno, a
Democrat representing San Francisco, had previously issued a proclamation in Colt's honor. He attended the birthday party and thanked the image-makers for their wholesome product, which, he acknowledged, had been important to
him as he came into his gay identity. That sounds sensible. The frothing Rev. had referenced Colt Studio product as "homosexual porn." This gives pause: how familiar is the right-Rev. with the homosexual porn catalogue? I
suspect any gay teen has a greater familiarity with the vast inventory and is more able to discern the differences in the various genres.
The images from Colt Studio impress me as representations from a certain type of Male Beauty School, studly division. The men seem to be in the All-American tradition: attractive, manly, muscular, engaged in
buddy-buddy activities. Who could be better role models? I do recall once, when I was visiting the Colt website, there was a warning that viewers from certain areas in these good United States were forbidden from viewing the stable of
Colt models. I searched further and found out that in my native state of Ohio there were even areas within those 88 counties wherein you were warned not to click "Enter." I didn't-- and still don't-- know how to interpret this.
Could there be county-by-county prohibitions on what websites the good
volk might view? Had Colt been singled out as particularly overly-tantalizing?
The soi-disant minds of the censorious are always amazing things and hard to understand. I would suggest that the good state of Ohio drop these barriers to access to the Colt Studio website, and the new Governor might
want to host his own Birthday Party for the Colt crew, with a pitch for them to open their own Ohio division-- lots of potential stuff there to groom into Colt men. And, Lord knows, Ohio needs new industries. Churches-- a
heavy presence in Ohio-- are largely, if not entirely, tax-exempt, and can't carry the freight.
I can picture a Colt shoot, with the pumped-up men in appropriate attire, with some of the great Indian mounds as background. It would introduce an educational theme! I offer the above as free advice; if the Gov. of the
Buckeye State wants to offer me a job as Enterprise Developer, I will entertain propositions from 9 to 5.
But this is Colt's column. You know, for anything to last 40 years in America is a feat deserving of more than a proclamation. How long did George Romney's American Motors Company last? How long have the various
soccer leagues in the USA lasted? And the dot com wizards, burning through their billions of dollars-- how long did they hang around? And Colt goes on and on. The city of San Francisco should have been more generous in its
accolades-- drinks on the house! And for those sour-faces at the Fox Network and the traditional values prayer group, perhaps a date with a Colt model might soften their hard-hearted hearts and let them see some light.
Happy Birthday Colt Studio! You've only just begun!
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