Sex Histories	Sex Histories Archive

NEW JERSEY-- I've been gay all my life. I remember back to the age of five, when I was living in San Francisco w/ my grandparents and my father's youngest brother. He was 15 at the time. My Dad was away at med school in Mexico.

My uncle used to climb into my bed nightly. He would pull down my P.J.'s and put his mouth on my little dick. He would then pull down his underwear-- I will never ever forget his long black dick!

He would lay on his back and would make me suck his big dick. He would also "pee" in my mouth (of course that meant that he shot his load off).

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During the days, he would take me down to the basement and I would do it w/ him and his white friend.

Soon after, my father returned and we moved here to the East coast. Dad worked at a New York hospital and had strange hours so he hired this Dutch woman, Mrs. V.,for my nanny.

I thought about my uncle nightly but as I got older he was forgotten. At age 8, Mrs. V. took me to Holland for two weeks-- the hottest two weeks! I came out there. I roomed w/ her 14-year-old nephew. He was tall, had long blond hair, and was cute. Mrs. V. had taught me Dutch so language wasn't a problem.

My 1st night in his room, he went in to shower and returned wrapped only in a towel. He started drying himself off right in front of me. His dick was big. I got instant ashbacks to years before w/ my uncle & his friend.

I went in to shower. I came back all dry and in my P.J.'s. The room was dark. The boy was watching dirty movies-- had an 8 mm. projector. It was the first time I saw men making love to other men. I thought that I, my uncle, and his friend were the only ones that did it. But on the lm, one man was fucking another up the ass.

He turned on the light. He was still nude, his big dick standing out. I was in shock from seeing the lm, watching the kid walking over to me, and memories from three years before.

He stood in front of me and as he unbuttoned my top he said, "It's better to sleep nude." He stood there and stripped me. He turned off the lights, started the projector, and laid me in his bed on my back. Not a word was said as he kissed me. Then he ran his tongue over my chest & nipples. In my mind, I was begging him to suck me. My wish came true. It was as though he read my mind. He started sucking my dick. I was on Cloud 9.

Suddenly, he lifted up my legs and I felt a cool sensation-- he had his mouth on my ass. Oh what a feeling! He sucked my ass for a long time, then he pulled away, got up on top of me and stuck his big dick down my throat. It was big! I started to gag as his hot cream lled my mouth.

After, we layed in each other's arms not saying a word.

When the lm nished, he said something to me about me being the 1st black he ever had. He also said he wanted to fuck me. But after seeing those guys on the lm getting fucked, it looked painful. I said, "No."

The next day, he and I rode on bikes far away. We visited two of his friends, one a kid around my age, 8 or 9, and then to another kid's house; he was maybe 13 or 14. Both boys freaked out, I guess me being black and all. We went to this barn. The older kid had a camera. We all took off our clothing.

The two boys were afraid to touch me. But I and the nephew got into it first. Then the others followed. We had an orgy! I was sucking and got sucked. I sat back and watched as both older boys took turns fucking the younger kid. They tried to fuck me but I still gave a rm "No."

In bed that night, after I and the nephew did it again, after he fell to sleep, I jerked off to the events earlier and to the idea of getting fucked.

That was a hot two weeks. Mrs. V. had to actually pull me to the car, me screaming and crying, to the airport.

Back home in the States I jerked off every night. I had a few friends my age; one stayed over one night. I reached for his dick. The kid freaked out and woke up both my father & Mrs. V. and told them I had touched him. A big scandal followed and I was blacklisted from the other boys in the neighborhood.

I spent the next year lonely and only had my jerk off fantasies.

The following summer, Mrs. V. promised to take me back to Holland. I was nine. But my father busted my bubble and said we were going to California for the summer to visit my grandparents and uncle. When he mentioned my uncle, I got excited.

My grandpa & uncle met me & my dad at the airport. My uncle was still good looking and 19. In the car, I sat in the back w/ my uncle. The tension was so thick you could cut it w/ a knife. He patted me on my leg, close to my groin, and said that I had gotten big. He sat there w/ a magazine in his lap. I reached over and felt his hard dick. He smiled.

In the house over dinner and all, I found out that my uncle lived in Sacramento (two hours away from Frisco) and he worked with an airline. He said he would be transferring to Newark by X-mas.

My uncle said he was going to take me out for ice cream. We never made it to the ice cream parlor. We went to his friend's house. His friend was away. We didn't even get inside before he started pulling off my clothing. Right there in the living room, I layed there looking up at him taking off his clothing. His dick was even bigger. As he undressed, I prayed that he would kiss me and suck my chest, then my dick and my ass-- just like that boy did to me

in Holland-- but I was upset when he first went down on me and sucked my dick.

So I pushed him off of me, pushed him onto his back, got on top of him and kissed him. Then I ran my tongue on his chest and started sucking his nipples. He freaked. All he did was grab my head and say, "Yes yes." The very second I took his big black dick into my mouth, he screamed and shot off.

After I swallowed, I kept going, licking his balls I really freaked him out when I lifted up his legs and tongued his ass. He pushed me away and with a surprised look asked who taught me how to do these things.I told him about mv trip the year before to Holland. He picked me up carried me into the bedroom, and we made love.

As the summer went on I spent every other weekend w/ him in Sacramento. He said he loved me. I sure did love him. And throughout he wanted to be the 1st to fuck me. I kept saying "no."

During my last week with him he begged to fuck me. When I turned him down for the last time he stormed out of the house.

He came back later that night, drunk as a skunk. We started making love and when I was on my back, he lifted my legs up. I thought he was going to eat me out, but I was wrong. He entered me roughly. I thought I was dying. I tried to ght him off but couldn't. He came fast, pulled out, and fell asleep.

I was so sore but the pain felt so good. I was sore for two days. We didn't speak but on the third day I grabbed his dick and wanted him to fuck me again. He did, but the second time he taught me all about relaxing and how to "give it to him" w/ my motions.

I returned to Jersey and just before X-mas, he did transfer to Jersey. Stayed w/ us for about a month (screwing every night). He later got an apt. in Newark and I would spend weekends w/ him.

This went on for about a year. But suddenly he found some religion and moved to Utah.

As I got older, I had all the chicken hawks after me. I became an expert at giving head cruising our local train station bathroom. During my lunch break from school, daily I would dash down to the station bathroom. Standing room only! I would be on my knees and have at least a half dozen men standing over me waiting their turn.

I also cruised the bathroom at city hall, the library, and in both parks.

I used to give head in parked cars and in motels.

As I got older, 15 and 16, I hit the city [New York]. Spent all day down in the subway bathrooms. From Boro Hall, to 14th St., Times Square, 72nd St., and my hottest station, 145th St.

Of course I cruised the bus terminal, Penn & Grand Central stations. Of course in the Village I used to hit the trucks and the famous warehouse at the foot of Christopher St. on West.

Those were the good old pre-AIDS days. I only caught VD twice.

Now I'm 29, still in Jersey, but I no longer suck dick and I may get fucked once a month with a rubber. The fun is gone but I had my fun! And every time I pass a public tea room, my dick gets hard.

Oh, I forgot. Once I was cruising the 145th station. I was giving this one guy head while jerking off another and out from the broom closet jumps this undercover cop. The 2 guys were arrested. I lied and said I was 13, but was actually 15. He let me go. Since that day, I got into serious cop fantasies.

P.S. You may print my name and address, I don't give a fuck. I would love to receive letters from others who have had boyhood sex.

Editor's Note: I don't think I should publish the names and addresses of the writers. There are too many heterosexuals with homosexual problems.

I regard this letter as a masterwork. This does not necessarily mean, in autobiographical writing, that its literary style is magnicent; it means that the experience reported is magnicent. The reason most men can't write like this is that most men don't suck cock in public when they are young boys. Heaven knows the world would be a better place if they did. Normally men do not suck in public until they are in their late teens (although I have seen a few young boys performing this labor of love in subway toilets). The writer of this letter is a major American sex artist and I have written him asking for more details for publication in my next book. ­B. McD.

Author Profile:  Boyd McDonald

Born in 1925 in South Dakota, Boyd McDonald entered Harvard as a high-school dropout after serving in the army in World War II. Jobs with Time, IBM, and several Wall Street firms preceded Boyd's career as a chronicler of gay sex. He was the founder and editor of Straight to Hell (alternatively the Manhattan Review of Cocksucking), and later published a number of anthologies of true sex histories. Boyd died in September 1993, two months after completing his final book, Scum.