Speaking Out (of his mind!)	Speaking Out Archive

I don't know how many times I've said to myself, Lester, the gay community needs to know there are a lot more entertaining ways to spend an evening then by indulging in sexual activity. This month I'm taking the bull by the horns and offering a couple of practical suggestions.

My all-time favorite form of pleasure is to invite a small group of friends over for dessert and then bring out to my screen and slide projector. The fun usually begins right away with some people clowning around and pretending to groan as if they weren't really interested. Naturally, I take this bit of tomfoolery in stride. I enjoy a good joke as well as the next fellow. Besides, I know there's probably not a person alive who can resist the enjoyment afforded by evening of viewing someone's home slides.

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Even a sure-fire entertainment like this can be enhanced by following a few simple rules. The first is to keep the show a reasonable length-- somewhere in the neighborhood of three to four hours. It's always better to whet people's appetites so that they'll leave hungry for more. Second, don't edit! People deserve to see your complete collection, not just those few slides that you personally think are your best. Remember, you had a reason for taking that picture in the first place. So be generous and share, even if you think people will discover that you're not always 100 percent perfect as a photographer. After all, you're not claiming to be a professional; you're just having a good time. When a picture is a little too dark or out of focus to discern clearly, you can always explain to your guests what they would be seeing if it had turned out better.

Third, encourage people ask questions about anything you may not have fully explained. For example, "What is that street vendor selling in the right foreground of the picture?" If you're not sure of the answer, don't be afraid to tell people that you don't know. In such a case, feel free to offer possibilities, such as, "I think he was selling postcards, or maybe it was pretzels." Sometimes it may be necessary to plant a few questions with a good friend just to get the ball rolling.

Fourth, in a fun but firm way, discourage the guests from starting up private conversations during the show. Not only can such chit-chat act as a distraction to the others, but the individuals involved might miss something important. You don't want to have to backtrack to catch them up. With a little chuckle, say something like, "I bet if I were to give a quiz on what has appeared in the last few slides, Nancy and Phyllis might not get a passing grade." This is a way to make your point in a humorous yet non-offensive manner.

Without wishing to appear to be bragging, I'd like to point out a further way I'm attentive to the interests of my guests. My slides of Disney World often run a little over my usual for-hour limit. As a consequence, I've noticed on several occasions that some folks have had to leave before the end of this show. What I did recently was to invite all of these particular individuals back at the same time for what I told them would be a surprise evening. After they had arrived, I explained they all had something common: each of them had missed a part of my show on Disney World. So tonight, I went on, my surprise was that they would get to see the whole thing. You cannot imagine the shock and disbelief that registered on their faces after my announcement. They probably had never before encountered such consideration and thoughtfulness on the part of a host.

Of course, not everyone is in a position to offer an evening of slides. But there are many other ways to have fun in a group. I have a very dear friend named Dynette Sets. Dynette seems to know just about every parlor game that's ever been invented. When you go to a party at her house, you just know it's not going to be a dull evening. Last Saturday was a perfect example. We had hours of fun playing a game I had never tried before. I'd like to suggest to my readers that they try it the next time they're with some folks who enjoy having a good time together. The rules are very simple:

Select one member of the group to act as music director. Now he or she (for either is appropriate) sits down at the piano and plays a mystery tune. Whoever in the group firsts guesses correctly the name of the tune is It. The one who is It then leaves the room while the others as a team select a card (such as the eight of hearts) from a deck of 52. The card is then removed from the deck and hidden somewhere in the room. The person who is It is now summoned. He is given five minutes during which time he is allowed to ask the group seven questions which can be answered by either a "yes" or a "No." If at the end of the time limit he is able to find the secret card, he scores a point, and the game begins again. If, on the other hand, he should fail to discover the hiding place, he scores a minus one and also has the option of quitting. At the end of the evening, the points are added up, and to whoever has the highest score wins. Offering a prize to the winner is one of the ways of increasing the fun and excitement.

I could go on and on with other ideas, but I think I've made my point: gratifying one's base animal sexual desires is hardly the best way to have a good time.