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By
Giacomo Tramontagna
In an alley behind a commercial block in (presumably) L.A., men in ripped Levis and frayed denim cutoffs, some of them attractive in a shopworn way, meet for unimaginative sex. Amid industrial detritus, against
cinder block walls and swaths of chain link fence, and on, in, beside, behind, and in front of a derelict red convertible, a succession of duos dutifully suck and fuck to the rhythm of diabolically repetitive marimba riffs that may
first put you to sleep and then make you wake up screaming. Pouty British porn hunk Matt Windsor, looking pained and sullen (maybe wondering if and when he's going to be paid), appears in two segments and, as he
stumbles upon a couple who have just shot their wads, gets to utter the one scripted speech: "What the fuck are you doing? Get out of there, perverts!" Moments later, presented with selections more to his liking, Windsor joins two
of the better-groomed back-alley prowlers for a three-way. This episode does manage to strike a few sparks, but since it comes at the end of this cheesy enervated mess, not many viewers will make it that far.
The most intriguing aspect of this exercise in stupefaction is the question of its origins. The opening disclaimers reveal that
VasOlin Alley, Vas'O'Lin Alley, or
Vasoline Alley, as it's variously called at
the beginning of the tape and on the front and back of the box, is more than two years old. The name of Matt Windsor, its most recognizable performer, is misspelled in the credits, which consist entirely of the names of the
cast. After watching twenty minutes of VasOlin
Alley, you might hazard a guess that it was made in an afternoon on a budget of $45 by a tribe of gnomes. And you might be right.
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Gay Video Review!
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