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By
Giacomo Tramontagna
Things to Cum
Rating: 2 Stars
Produced by Josh Eliot. Written and directed by Brad Austin. Videography by Brad Austin, John Simms, and Nolan Miles. Edited at Aries Post. Music by Sonic Seduction. Starring Doug Jeffries, Paul
Morgan, Mike Ceasar, Richie Fine, Al Monroe, Sam Crockett, Brad King, Will Clark, and Mark Kroner.
How to order
In Things to Cum, a naked Paul Morgan masturbates intently as he watches a five-part video called
Things to Cum. In the first segment, "Hard at Work," workmen Doug Jeffries and Mike Ceasar
(sic) stop doing something indecipherable to somebody's house long enough to have sex. In "Order Up," Richie Fine delivers pizza to Al Monroe with predictable results. In "Afternoon Delight," Sam Crockett and Brad King bonk on a
black leather couch below a Joan Miro poster. In "Stairway to Ecstasy," Will Clark and Mark Kroner grapple on red-carpeted stairs that were recently used to evoke New Orleans in another mediocre Catalina video,
Burning.
Finally, in "Deep Down Feeling," as Doug Jeffries (again) starts jerking off to a book entitled
Swimming and Diving, Al Monroe walks in and hastens to assist him. Since Monroe and Mike Ceasar have
the same haircut and similar tattoos, and Jeffries goes through similar motions with both of them, you may wonder if the tape has somehow looped back to the beginning. This is a succession of duos where the few good
moments are autoerotic and belong to two performers who don't have a scene together: Will Clark, in ecstasy as he licks his own armpits, and the inimitable Paul Morgan, working his way toward the sexual equivalent of a
howitzer blast.
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