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Big city gay life, Down Under hospitality
By
Eddy Hougen
It is often remarked throughout Australia that "Melbourne's the lady, and Sydney's the whore." Melbourne may be a metaphorical lady, but in the distinctively queer neighborhoods-- Collingwood in the north and Prahran/Yarra/St. Kilda in the south-- she's at best a dirty girl. Sex shops, restaurants, and clubs have a decidedly cozy feel, but this city is deceptively big and broad in scope. Melbourne was built around the mid 1800's gold rush and remains a well planned, clean, and efficiently run financial hub. Asian and European influences are strong in Melbourne, with many choice specimens represented from each culture. Being gay is fabulous in Melbourne. Expatriates
litter the city, and politics of the day are nearly always fodder for conversation. Ride the tram to Commercial road get a bite to eat and set out on a true adventure. This "lady" will charm you, disarm you, and maybe make you forget home for a moment.
Midsumma Melbourne, an annual pride event, usually starts the third Friday in January and runs for three weeks. This is Melbourne's big gay hurrah- a carnival of music, cabaret, drag acts, and parades or
"walks." Walk it, Girl!
Accommodations
Hotel Saville (5 Commercial Road; +61-3-9867-2755) profits from its proximity to much of Melbourne's gay life in South Yarra/ Prahran. This self-styled "affordable alternative" makes for a motel-like stay. Rooms are usually rented by the night but shorter stays may be negotiated!
Located on the banks of the Yarra river in Melbourne's business district, the 4-star
Clarion Suites Gateway (1 William Street; +61-3-9296-8880) offers all the luxury, warmth and hospitality you could ask
for with significantly more space than conventional hotel rooms.
Cotterville B&B (204 Williams Road, Toorak; +61-3-9826-9105) is a unique bed and breakfast, home to two kiwi queers. This wholesome retreat offers two rooms, but the entire house is open to the guests.
In Collingwood, at the Laird Hotel (149 Gipps Street; +61-3-9417-2832) there are six double guest rooms, a TV and breakfast room, plus laundry facilities. Leather and SM aficionados will appreciate the
Gatehouse (97 Cambridge Street; +61-3-9417-2182). It's Australia's only guest house specifically catering to the male SM scene. The
Gay Trade Bar (9 Peel Street; +61-3-9417-6700), in addition to being a
full-on entertainment spot, also offers lodgings to backpackers.
Entertainment
In South Yarra and Prahran, Commercial Road rules the roost.
The Market (143 Commercial Road), rides high Thursdays through Sundays for night clubbing as of 10pm. Thursdays ring
are "Fresh" from 9pm-5am with Tabitha Turlington (a local drag goddess) regaling with two shows featuring a regime of male dancers. Fridays whip in "Grind," the weekly underground dance party wherein performance artists (percussionists, saxophonist,
et al) jam with DJs. Entertaining acts such as belly dancing, fire juggling, aerial ring acrobatics, hula, render the night special. Saturdays are "Late Night Shopping" with Resident DJs taking you on a journey from commercial
through progressive to funky house. For that wow! factor, a 3am performance is thrown in. Sundays translate into "Sunday Market" with DJs playing smooth, percussive house music. Throughout the year this state of the art
nightclub plays host to many special events and live performances. Check out www.markethotel.com.au for scheduled events and theme nights.
Xchange Hotel (119 Commercial Road) is a full-on venue and home to Lucy Loosebox-- a cross dresser whose repertoire delightfully comprises three hairpieces, two dresses, and four time-tested numbers.
Club Evolution (138 Commercial Road; +61-3-9529-2088),
Zone of Seperation (386 Chapel Street), and
Denial (274 Chapel Street) are the gay friendly clubs to reckon within the gay ghetto.
Heaven's Door (147 Commercial Road) is the newest in the stable for the enterprising "heaven" chain. Catering private parties and events and catching on as a "warm-up" spot to a night out, this funky cocktail
lounge set over two floors is somewhere to enjoy the music, but still In St. Kilda,
Greyhound (1 Brighton Road) offers more cocks in frocks such as Pussycat Dolls on Friday and Madame Paris on Saturdays.
Nearby, Prince of Wales (29 Fitzroy Street) is proud of its fine lodgings and has a liquor store, two restaurants, bars, and a band club tucked in it as well. The earthy Saloon Bar is gay and popular, especially for
the $1 pot of beer every Monday afternoon.
In Richmond, DT's (164 Church Street) continues to hold its own with a steady neighborhood following.
In the North side (Collingwood) area, there's the
Gay Trade Bar (9 Peel Street). Open daily from noon through 1am, there's a regular video bar, free Internet, pool tables, a dance floor, and many beefy strippers.
Laird Hotel (149 Gipps Street) has two bars, a pool table, games area, and an outdoor beer garden. The Laird is home to Melbourne's two leather clubs, which meet in the back bar during the week.
Minutes away by foot, The Peel (corner of Peel and Wellington Streets) is an institution in its own right. The young crowd here varies with the night, as do the DJs, who each set their own mood. The atmosphere is
"full-on" usually after midnight.
Cafes and restaurants
In the Prahran/South Yarra Road area,
Ice (30 Cato Street) situated right across Colt's Gym, is a smart cafe/bar open 8am through 11pm (or later) that has "captured the market." It's not just the assortment of
teas, coffees, alcoholic libations, or desserts that have catapulted it into
the hangout, but also the trendy, exciting, amiable locals who always stick their heads in here to meet, cavort, cruise, and date. Expect Aussie fare
(including the omnipresent gnocchi pasta) at this gym-body conscious cafe.
Heaven@151 (151 Commercial Road), owned by the same folks who run three additional successful gay frequented businesses in the immediate area (Heavenly Solutions, Ten Plus, and the new Heaven's
Door) is the new cafe/cocktail lounge that boasts cafe fare, a full bar, a lovely collection of artwork, and a laid back cruisey vibe.
Outlook (155 Commercial Road) is an Internet cafe, card and gift store, hairdresser, and leather wear boutique spread out over two floors and quite the place to get the latest dish on all the to-dos in the scene.
Lesbian owned, Diva bar (153 Commercial Road) adds to the allure of Commercial Road as a dance bar, Wednesday through Saturday as of 8pm. Drag acts are part of the repertoire.
Several gay friendly cafes and restaurants straddle South Yarra and Prahran including
Red Orange (194 Commercial Road),
SoSo Bar (147 Commercial Road), and Orien Thai (149 Commercial Road).
Jackie O (204 Barkly Street), a cafe/restaurant strategically located in St. Kilda, is ultra gay friendly with staff that's very much touched by the color pink.
Looking good and getting physical
Heavenly Solutions (13 Izett Street), a gay owned/operated salon offers waxing, facials, massage, wraps, beauty treatments in the thick of it all.
Colt's Gym (33-35 Cato Street) continues to be a gay focal point in the South Yarra and Prahran area. This ever-improving health heaven is filled with weights and machines and offers aerobics, cardio, spinning,
Pilates, body pump, and yoga facilities.
Fitness first (560 Church Street) in the suburb of Richmond is also quite poofter trammeled. This fabulous state-of-the-art gym has everything that a body factory could aspire to.
55 Porter St. (55 Porter Street) is the setting for sauna encounters in the South Yarra area. Discount passes are available for students, seniors-- and those on the dole!
10 Plus (59 Porter Street) Has that Army barracks feel and is busy on weekends. Catering to all "scenes" over two buildings and outdoor and garden areas, this place is the sex champion of the South Yarra/Prahran area.
Steamworks (279 Latrobe Street) is the largest and longest-running gay bathhouse, right in the central business district.
Wet on Wellington (162 Wellington Street) with its 25-meter lap pool is a bi-level
facility in town. Subway (Vault 13, Banana Alley Vaults, at Queensbridge Street) is yet another bathhouse sanctum for physical relief.
In the suburb of Elsternwick, Bay City Sauna (482-D Glenhuntly Road) holds its own with a spa, steam room, and maze. It also sports a location in Seaford, at 2/16 Cumberland Drive.
Just up the street from The Peel, Club 80 (10 Peel Street) is a sex club where shifting affections are routine. Communal areas, cubicles, and glory holes are part of the experience. Clothing is optional.
Close to the casino, and discreetly tucked in South Melbourne,
The Stable (44 Gladstone Street) is a European-style male brothel with luxurious theme rooms in store. A range of thoroughbred stallions, stud
muffins, and stable boys await your pleasure. Call locally at +61-03-9696-2222.
Shopping
Hares & Hyenas (135 Commercial Road) is
the gay and lesbian bookshop. Here you'll find information, free local gay papers, and lots of interesting t-shirts, posters, cards, and art.
The Beat Bookshop (157 Commercial Road), is a tried and true gay adult bookshop vending implements of pleasure, plus a wide assortment of magazines, toys, and videos. Their popular video room and
lounge upstairs offers a chance of immediate gratification. Slip in, and when you're done, slide out.
The Shaft (59 Izett Street, Prahran) is a gay adult bookshop vends pleasurable goodies that include magazines, toys, DVDs, videos and more. CJ, the affable, adorable proprietor is a well-spring of knowledge about the gay scene in Melbourne. He has his fingers in many pies. A second store is about to open, and the underwear label (produced in Australia) called "Ombre" is picking up speed. CJ's enthusiasm for the product is infectious.
He states, "I liked it so much, I bought the company!" Vended in a large variety of styles and colors, the Aussie made blend of cotton and Lycra support one in all the right places. For more info about the undies,
visit www.ombreformen.com. Also visit www.shaftstore.com.au, and stay tuned to
The Guide for more of the oh-so energetic CJ's exploits.
Bang (41 Cato Street) touts sports gear, party apparel, underwear, and accessories. Many a coveted label like Whittal & Shon, Everlast, Russell Athletic, Calvin Klein, 2Xist, Lonsdale, Jocko, Circuit, Puma, BodyBody, Aussie Bum, as well as Liquid Swimwear grace the items you can buy here. This personal boutique is a must do, must see!
In the Collingwood area, Eagle Leather (58 Hoddle Street) is a leading Aussie store for men's leather and latex clothing, fetish accessories, exciting erotic adult toys, bondage, discipline and s/m gear, books, videos and educational products. Various seminars and workshops are hosted at this business that has founded what is the three week long Melbourne Leather Festival (www.melbourneleatherfestival.org) held late August on.
Visit them on www.eagleleather.com.au for their massive range of products and services.
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