Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Regular readers know of Dawn's fascination with Mormon boys as sex objects, so a recent feature in the fabulous Celebrate the Self newsletter (dedicated to masturbation) enthralled.

CTS reprints much of a Church of Latter Day Saints pamphlet aimed at preventing the sin of self abuse:

"When the temptation to masturbate seems overwhelming, yell, "stop!" and recite a pre-chosen scripture.

"Use aversion therapy-- associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several them as you do the act [the act being bathing, Dawn presumes, not masturbating].

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"During your toileting and showering activities, leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open to discourage being alone in total privacy.

"Avoid people, situations, pictures, or reading materials that may create sexual excitement.

"It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases. [Dawn might suggest that two Books of Mormon might be more effective....]

"In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bedframe with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half-asleep."

Dawn cannot, of course, speak for all, but simply reading this loony tract and thereby conjuring up images of horny Mormon lads, barely able to keep their paws off their bursting gonads was enough to inspire several good wanks.