Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Dawn has long abhorred license plates that, for an extra fee, advertise the issuing state's wildlife conservation program, or promise more money for schools, or signal the driver's support for the local pro sports franchise. License plates exist to help regulate the ownership and use of automobiles, not to shill for pet causes.

Many a state, thinking such perversions of their DMVs a painless way to raise money, has later discovered such specialty plates to be a political pain-in-the-ass: if some drivers want the world to know they're concerned about domestic violence, why shouldn't others be able to proclaim their concern for the unborn? If some are eager to save the manatees, can others note their enthusiasm for offshore drilling? And if privately-owned sports franchises can be peddled on state-issued plates why not dishwashing powder? Instead of turning their DMVs to low-rent pimps, it would seem wiser for states to restrict license plates to their legitimate function.

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awn is a tad more agnostic on the matter of so-called "vanity plates," whereby a driver is allowed to pick the combination of letters and numbers assigned to their plate. If "BIKRCHK" wants to advertise her love of motorcycles or "A V 8 OR" his enjoyment of flying, Dawn cares less. But such plates still create trouble for DMVs. Witness the tale of South Dakota's Heather Moriah. She loves the plates she got for her silver Prius, but state officials are eager to have them returned-- seems they missed the message intended when Heather, in 2005, ordered her plates to read "MPEACHW." They now claim the right to refuse "any letter combination which carries connotations offensive to good taste and decency."

But there's the rub. Whose standards of decency and taste are to arbitrate? Will "HNDBALLR" be allowed if submitted by an athletic booster, but rejected if from a Leather Daddy? Will the religiously exuberant be allowed the "GD XTC" denied to the circuit party queen? Much as Dawn appreciates the sentiments behind an "MPEACHW" plate, it seems best for states to confine themselves to randomly-generated nonsense letter/ number combos and allow drivers to rely on bumper sticker manufacturers for displays of their civic and political messages.