Loose Lips	Loose Lips Archive

Miss Poubelle's friend Sig was invited to a J/O party in Rochester a number of years ago. The party was being held on the second floor of a duplex, and apart from a candle in the kitchen the place was completely black. The organizers, in an inspired bit of party planning, had decided that since it was October, a Halloween black-out J/O party would be just the thing.

Sig paid his ten bucks and removed his clothes, then headed into the blackness, unable to see a blessed thing. A few hesitant steps later, he felt a man brush against him, then hands against his chest, and a hard cock pressed against his leg. Despite his initial apprehension at being unable to see, Sig felt himself getting into the spirit of the thing. It was fun to go exploring through a sea of naked men's bodies, not knowing what one would feel next.

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After a while, Sig found himself in a passionate embrace with an unseen, but tall and muscular man, with terrific lips and a strong sexual energy. Somehow, they maneuvered their way across the room to a couch, and sat there, making out. Sig was having a terrific time until the hosts decided that it was time to turn the lights on. Blinking, he was horrified to see the middle-aged man he had been making out with and the romance faded quickly.

"He was not the kind of man I would ever give a second glance," Sig told Miss Poubelle. "Too old, and not attractive enough. But I have to admit that when the lights were off, he was great."

Sig's experience is an example of what Miss Poubelle has come to think of as the tyranny of the eyes. It seems that so often we appraise others as sexual partners solely by how they look. She isn't really talking failure to appreciate their character. Of course it is true that we ought to pick our lovers by thinking about the whole person-- body and mind.

Instead, she's talking about how you might pick a casual partner at a place like a gay sauna, or how you might choose a trick for the night. Even at the purely carnal level, Miss Poubelle suspects that it is a mistake to let ourselves be guided too exclusively by the eyes.

Miss Poubelle has heard it said that if music sounds good, it is good. We experience music only through our ears, so if it pleases our ears, that is enough. But we experience sex through all our five senses. And often what pleases the eye will fail to please the rest of the senses.

This is obvious in the case of the stud-muffin whose perfume makes you gag. He pleases the eye, but not the nose. It is less obvious, but also true, that bodies that look good aren't necessarily the same as bodies that feel good. Miss Poubelle has had sex with men who were so tightly muscular that it was like trying to have sex with a board-- their bodies just didn't yield anything to the hand or the mouth. Enormous dicks look terrific, but what can you do with a cock that won't fit in your mouth? Or a huge, pumped cock that won't get hard? She's learned that chunkier guys with average cocks are often more satisfying in bed.

Choosing men with your eyes is like picking your food by how it looks. What looks terrific is often bland, under-seasoned, and disappointing. And some of the most delicious morsels don't immediately catch the eye. We'll have better sex if we learn to resist the tyranny of the eyes and learn to appreciate others with the full range of our senses.