Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Spraying semen on a child may offend public sensibility but it isn't a felony sex crime, argued attorney Mark NeJame on behalf of his 29-year-old client, as reported by the Orlando Sentinel.

The semen in question was, allegedly, squirted not from a cock but from a water pistol on an eight-year-old girl.

"There is nothing other than a lynch-mob mentality which would legally permit this case to rise to the level of a felony," NeJame said. "Arguably, it's gross and disgusting, but we are a nation of laws and the laws don't felonize this type of conduct."

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Mr. NeJame must be recently out of law school. Any association of "sex" with "child" is, according to courts throughout the country, felonious and deserving of the severest penalties. NeJame's client would have a better chance of avoiding prison had he beaten the girl rather than fouled her with his (presumably) semen.

Police Detective Bernard Williams said four children have been sprayed during similar separate attacks in his city beginning in September and ending in December. In each case, a lone white male suspect confronted his victims in the children's sections of Wal-Mart and Waldenbooks stores. The suspect used a squirt gun to spray the children's mouths and clothing. The most recent attack happened inside a Kmart store in south Orlando. Five attacks occurred in Orange County. Squirt guns used in the attacks have not been recovered.

Police are reportedly testing Mr. NeJame's client's DNA in an attempt to link him to all the assaults.

Catherine and Rich Nichols, who live directly behind the suspect, said five squirt guns of various colors and sizes have been strewn in their yard during the past three months. "We heard about the 'Squirtgun Bandit,' but we never connected the two."