Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Thanks to the many readers who sent in clips regarding the shenanigans of the Illinois high school student with the alluring name Marco Castro.

Seems that last December, Marco, a student at Wheaton North High School, amused himself by removing the school cafeteria's reservoir of ranch salad dressing, retreating to the boys' room, adding his (presumably) tangy ejaculate to the creamy condiment, returning the container to the salad bar, and then watching his teachers and classmates ingest the extra-special buttermilk and baby-batter blend.

O

View our poll archive

f course, once Marco's culinary hijinks were discovered (and Dawn has not been able to ascertain how that happened), all hell broke loose. The principal sent warning letters, parents fretted about disease, and a judge sentenced Marco to 120 hours of community service and two years probation.

Now, Dawn does not condone adulteration of food products; no one should be consuming "secret" ingredients, and Marco was not fair to his fellow-diners who might have a semen allergy, or who are avoiding ingesting sperm for religious reasons. In the future, Marco could avoid much woe, and rake in much dough, by appropriately labeling his concoction; while it would limit marketing, can you imagine how much some would pay for ranch dressing with "real teen jizz added"? Dawn already looks differently at bottles of "Newman's Own"....