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Cramming for the Big One
Rating: 2 Stars
Produced and directed by Rick Van. Written by Jason Nikas and Sharon Kane. Videography by John Simms. Music by Sharon Kane. Edited by Ann Igma at Aries Post. Starring Scott Davis, Don Dawson, Jason Nikas, Anthony, Tommy Kapone, York Powers, Matthew Thomas, Gregg Clarke, and Tony Belmonte.
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The Human Sexuality 101 final is, we're told, "the single most important test you have at university. If you don;** pass the big one, you don't get your degree." All over campus, young men are feverishly preparing for the exam. An Icelandic exchange student with an indecipherable accent, the improbably named Don Dawson, seeks linguistic help from Scott Davis, whose communicative skills transcend the verbal. In one of the "private study rooms," scrappy little Anthony offers Tommy Kapone sexual favors in exchange for help with the final. Kapone confesses he's been madly in love with Anthony for quite some time. "Shut the fuck up," snaps Anthony, "and suck my fuckin' dick."

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Jason Nikas nervously goes to the source for assistance: studly scholar York Powers, his favorite Human Sexuality instructor. "I have a feeling," says Nikas, "that under that conservative tie and those round glasses lies a raw... beast-like hunk of thick manflesh...." This turns out to be true. Elsewhere on campus, Matthew Thomas, Tony Belmonte and Gregg Clarke pursue lab work with dildos.

The script of this enjoyably unhinged piece of piffle was written by Jason Nikas and Sharon Kane, who seem to have had fun working on the narration, delivered in deadpan voice-over by Nikas. Unfortunately, most of the cast can't act, and under Rick Van's lackluster direction, the sex does little to compensate.