
May 1999 Cover
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By
Dawn Ivory
Dawn has seen it happen time and time again: buying property turns people into assholes (or at least brings out their latent asshole tendencies). Witness one
Kathleen Huntsman, a new property owner in Dallas. Ms. Huntsman was thrilled to acquire a "home" (a.k.a, a
house) near White Rock Lake, but she wasn't so thrilled to
discover that her "home" (undoubtedly decorated with countless precious knickknacks, perhaps including Bible slogans crocheted around "bathroom tissue" cozies) was in
the heart of a gay cruising strip. "It tainted my whole feeling of being at White Rock Lake," said Ms. Huntsman.
Now, the logical thing for Ms. Huntsman and all other similar situated uptight homophobes to do would be move; after all, the cruisers were there first.
But, typically, Ms. Huntsman called the cops.
Police Chief John Martinez, who has evidently solved all real crime in Dallas, readily turns his attention to harassing cockhounds with the usual blather about
a-safe-clean-family-environment. Sting operations regularly net dozens of men guilty of being horny, but the entrapment schemes, mercifully, do not deter cruisers
for long.
While this particular story has a happy ending (Ms. Huntsman has decided to move), Dawn laments that countless other property owners throughout the country do not follow Ms. Huntsman's example on how to improve their
neighborhoods....
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Dirty Dishes!
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