Queer n There	Queer n There Archive

As the holiday Muzak blaring from every shopping mall and TV jingle won't let you forget, it's Christmastime, with its fetishes of babes in mangers and snowbound nuclear families in orgies of consumption. Is there any gay relief in sight?

You may have a hard time finding it, but a group called The Go-Go Boys, with their CD "Gay Apparel," gives Muzak-quality redactions of the holiday standards now playing over the intercom at Wal-Mart­ but with the lyrics turned seriously queer.

When "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" comes up in post-plumb-pudding family caroling, amuse your nephews and nieces with:

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Dashing through the house
Like a Doberman in heat
Searching for the KY
To slather on his meat
Lube and condoms found
In a moment you're in bedc
Lying flat upon your back
With your heels above your head. Oh!
Anal sex, anal sex, spread your eager cheeks
Up the butt, Bob, up the butt
Let's hear it for the Greeks. Hey!
Anal sex, anal sex, sphincters all aglow
Frowned upon from Katmandu to Boise, Idaho

But this goes only baby steps in conveying the sheer, raucous, tasteless, icicle-sharp brilliance of the Go-Go Boys' achievement. Alas, their web site www.happy-pig.com touted on the CD jacket, has been taken over by a Chinese children's clothing manufacturer, so you may have trouble scaring this disk up. It's worth the search!