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College Park, Maryland-- Some alumni organizations are harder to get into than others. But few are as wide open as the University of Maryland Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Alumni Club. "Become a Founding Member," a recent press release exhorted this correspondent, who holds no college diploma and never laid foot on any grassy U of M quadrangle. "Anyone can join the Alumni Association," the press release goes on, "whether you graduated from Maryland, attended for one semester, or are just a proud supporter!" Perhaps UMLGBTAC, aware of its ungainly name, aims to attract members by rolling out an unusually wide welcome mat. Maybe so few homosexuals have attended the U of Mary-Land (though that seems hard to credit) that members must be sought outside the ranks of real alumni. But why search for answers? In these post-modern days, when we celebrate the fluidity of identity, why shouldn't one's alumni society-- or, hey, academic credentials-- be matters of personal choice? Get with the zeitgeist and contact Lori Hill, class of '89 and Director of Local and Affiliate Clubs, at 301-405-4672, or e-mail lori_l_hill@umail.umd.edu. Or else conclude with Groucho Marx that you don't care to belong to any club that would have you as a member.