Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Dawn's mom calls those who vote with the rich GOP-- and against their own more modest economic interests-- "nickel Republicans." So eager some are to identify with the privileged, they'll screw themselves over in the process. (A phenomenon W and all the rest count on.)

Dawn's mom grew up during the Depression, to this day the period of American history that orients her political compass. Dawn matured during the sexual revolution, and so has a different set of bearings. And Dawn has always been befuddled by gay GOPers. Mind you, the species is familiar: insecure, self-loathing homos eager to compensate for their queerness by draping themselves in upper-middle-class mores, anxious to assert their butchness by identifying with the oppressor class. (At least the Nazis, who attracted their fair share of Log Cabin types, had spiffy uniforms; the country club fashions on parade in Philadelphia appalled.) Gay Democrats are bad enough, but gay Republicans seem like utterly unsexy quislings.

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But, when news spread that Arizona Republican Representative Jim Kolbe's address to the Republican convention was to focus on trade, Dawn grew excited. Maybe the GOP was changing! Dawn figured Kolbe was selected to deal with this most sensitive of issues because he must know a lot about trade-- he seems just the type to have picked up his fair share at bus stations in Phoenix, along highways headed out of Tucson, perhaps even from DC-based services formerly housed in Barney Frank's apartment. Dawn keenly anticipated Kolbe's remarks: would he talk about the thrill of tasting pussy-fucking cock in his mouth? the frisson lent by the danger of sex with strait-identified men? the familiar aphorism that "today's trade is tomorrow's competition"? Dawn canceled all evening appointments and settled in for some fine television viewing.

Well, what a disappointment! Turns out, Kolbe was blabbing on and on about international commerce! To him, "free trade" meant US firms getting access to Mexican sweatshops, not a t-room trick uninterested in cash.

Evidently, Dawn wasn't the only one annoyed that Kolbe was wasting everyone's time with his yawnfest about exchange rates and export deficits-- virtually the entire Texas delegation could be seen praying throughout Kolbe's meanderings, no doubt asking god to please get Jim to focus on sex, the promised topic....