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Nov '03
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Arnold
By: Dawn Ivory
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Speaking of Republicans, Dawn would like to pronounce an agnosticism about California's new gov, Arnold Schwarz-enegger. True, his Dad was a Nazi, and Arnold himself is a member of a proto-Nazi group (i.e., the
Republican Party). But there are a number of silver linings to the Golden State's all-too-cloudy political future. |
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Nov '03
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Salute to Bush
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn is frequently accused of bias against the Bushes, both Poppy the Elder and Shrub the Younger. |
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Oct '03
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So logical
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn has read that Britain has passed legislation making "grooming" an under-age potential sex partner a crime. What is "grooming"?
Basically, it's being nice to someone; showing kindness, offering gifts, spending time doing the things the other person wants to do. |
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Oct '03
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Of cabbages and kings
By: Dawn Ivory
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Coming from the South where genealogy is taken seriously (with blue-haired matriarchs on both sides of the family eager to trace roots
back to Tudor England), Dawn learned early in life how to determine extended family relations. |
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Sep '03
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His lawyers are working on it
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn was amused to read of Prez-dunt (shudder) Bush's condemnation of homo marriage. |
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Sep '03
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Shocking!
By: Dawn Ivory
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Thanks to the reader who sent Dawn a squib from the Baltimore
Sun about a 10-year-old boy deemed a "sex offender" in Maryland. |
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Sep '03
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Kerry salutes the Right
By: Dawn Ivory
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For any readers wondering if Democratic presidential hopeful John Kerry was a colossal hypocrite, he is. |
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Aug '03
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Toe-sucker
By: Dawn Ivory
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Fox News may not be good for much, but it was through them that Dawn learned the extraordinary tale of Trenton Veches. Mr. Veches was a former supervisor of a Newport Beach (California) youth program until April, 2002, when he was arrested after a finky co-worker
reported seeing him sucking on a boy's toes. |
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Jul '03
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First, rectify the language...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Some enterprising soul in Dawn's hometown has won enough government agency money to festoon the city's buses with posters trumpeting the existence of homo domestic violence. |
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Jul '03
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Elegido por América!
By: Dawn Ivory
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The Nation reports that Spain's second-largest daily paper,
ABC, printed a satirical story from the wonderful parody publication
The Onion as real news. |
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Jul '03
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Super power super corrupts
By: Dawn Ivory
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The past two months, Dawn has outlined the catechism required of CelebriJournalistPols who blather on the small screen, posing as television "news" people. |
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Jun '03
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All the news that fits...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Last month, Dawn noted that one of the catechisms required of celebri-journalists who pontificate on "roundtable" TV shows billed as "news" is that we all
know that the war on Iraq is not about oil profiteering. Indeed, why would they name it Operation Iraqi Freedom unless it was about... Iraqi freedom? |
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May '03
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Heat shields
By: Dawn Ivory
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Thanks to the thoughtful reader who sent the clip about high-tech doorstops employed in the halls of England's august Oxford University. |
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May '03
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The nose on your face...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn, like a moth, is drawn to those televised Sunday morning jabber fests wherein five or six rich, white, fat men (with, occasionally, a distaff, slimmer, or swarthier token presence)
discuss the pressing issues of the day from totally
different viewpoints (not). |
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Apr '03
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Boyfriend 101
By: Dawn Ivory
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It's no secret that Dawn spends much time hobnobbing with specialty publishers and ink-world glitterati. With writers and publishing houses all eager for a nod or kind word,
advance manuscripts pile up on Dawn's desk. Perusing that pile, Dawn issues the following warning.... |
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Mar '03
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Modern Marvels
By: Dawn Ivory
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Friends of Dawn know it's no secret that Dawn has been plagued by asshole troubles. What seemed an intractable boil was, in fact, finally diagnosed as a "fistula," which Dawn came to
learn is a pathway connecting things that are not usually to be connected; in this case, the fistula connected Dawn's rectum with the outside world, a job normally done only by the asshole. |
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Mar '03
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A Reminder
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn confesses to having ignored admonitions to buy duct tape and plastic in order to create a "safe room" in the event of a "terrorist" chemical or bio attack. |
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Feb '03
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The Three Rs...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Recently, Dawn was asked by a newcomer to our shores to characterize the Republican Party. "Simple," came Dawn's reply. "Just remember the three Rs: rich, racist, and rotten." |
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Jan '03
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Butterflies
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn confesses to watching entirely too much television. Often the tube serves as visual muzak, ignored and registered at only a subliminal level. But occasionally, an insight into pop culture is afforded from TV
viewing, frequently from the commercials (not the filler programming designed to frame real television i.e., the ads). |
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Dec '02
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Spooge alert grounds sailors
By: Dawn Ivory
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An alert reader in New York was kind enough to send Dawn several news clips relating to the latest lunacy of the "perpetual" War on Terrorism.... |
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Nov '02
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A whopping double standard
By: Dawn Ivory
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Remember back when Republicans were "grooming" W to be governor of Texas? It seemed remarkable that they thought an alcoholic, cokehead party boy who'd never done a lick of
honest work in his life, and seemed to have trouble reading at an adult level, could be sufficiently rehabilitated to be chief executive of a large state (even if it was Texas). |
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Oct '02
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A rare bit of humility
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn has been struck by a certain style of jingoism evident in the US regarding thetragiceventsofseptembereleventh. |
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Oct '02
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Ouch!
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn has read that 13 men and boys have sought emergency medical treatment in Queensland, Australia, hospitals for penis-in-zipper injuries in the last three years. |
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Sep '02
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Snips and snails...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Guide readers may recall August, 1999, coverage in these pages of a "child sex abuse ring" centered in York Haven, Pennsylvania. |
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Sep '02
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Makes a lovely gift
By: Dawn Ivory
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Sick bags on Australia's Qantas airlines state at the top... |
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Sep '02
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Idolaters rejoice!
By: Dawn Ivory
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Congratulations to the Metropolitan Community Church on completion of their $35 million dollar Philip Johnson-designed cathedral in Dallas (shudder) Texas (shudder). With so many people focusing their charitable giving on projects to feed, clothe, and house the unfortunate,
MCC deserves recognition for using scarce resources to create a giant shrine of concrete and glass. |
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Aug '02
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Ein Reich, Ein Volk, Viele Fink!
By: Dawn Ivory
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Thanks also to the reader who called to Dawn's attention Herr Ashcroft's latest plan to turn us into a nation of finking neighbors. |
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Aug '02
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Lewis Carroll would understand...
By: Dawn Ivory
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And finally, thanks to the reader who sent a quote from Tela Mange (whose name sounds like something requiring a medicated ointment), a spokeswoman for the Texas Department of Public Safety: |
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Aug '02
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Come unto me...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Thanks to the alert reader who sent a clip from the
St. Paul Pioneer Press, detailing how a Sunday school teacher was convicted of a misdemeanor for counseling a teen-age boy that a good way to curb his masturbation
habit was to write "What would Jesus do?" on his penis. |
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Jul '02
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Congrats, grads!
By: Dawn Ivory
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Thanks to the sharp-eyed reader who sent Dawn a clip about a creative scavenger hunt conducted by students at Newton (Massachusetts) South High School. |
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