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Aug '00
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Caveat Idiot
By: Dawn Ivory
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Consumer Report's "Selling It" feature (highlighting ill-thought-thru and/or misleading ad campaigns) often amuses. |
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Aug '00
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Dogs and Assholes
By: Dawn Ivory
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Boston's reputation as a provincial burg plagued by its Puritan past was recently reinforced when that village's cultural maven Dusty Rhodes decided to pull the plug on public performances (part of Boston's Tall
Ships hoopla) of the play Shakespeare's
Dog. |
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Aug '00
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Pet Projects
By: Dawn Ivory
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While farmers wait on Frankenstein science to make cloning super-woolly sheep and udderly amazing cows economically feasible, pet owners can enjoy the benefits of gene shuffling today. |
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Jul '00
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Some New Shit
By: Dawn Ivory
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Sophisticated webmetric software confirms what Guide staff members have long suspected: our article on shit-play is among the most-read pieces ever published in these pages. |
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Jul '00
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Scrota for Sale
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn went to high school in the hills of Tennessee. One classmate (from Belzoni, Mississippi that's near Yazoo City....) grossed Young Dawn out with his Jeep's stick-shift knob cover: a cured and supple deer scrotum! |
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Jul '00
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The Incinerator General
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn generally has little use for the right-wing rants served up in the comic strip "Mallard Fillmore" (a decidedly unfunny panel, offered by nervous rags as "balance" to the decidedly funny "Doonesbury"). |
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Jun '00
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Progress by Steppes
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn was, of course, pleased to read that Turkmenistan has banned the death penalty, replacing it with a maximum 25-year prison term. |
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Jun '00
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"Ben Dover, Meet Harry Sfincter..."
By: Dawn Ivory
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Thanks to the attentive reader who, knowing of Dawn's fondness for high school athletes, sent a news clip regarding a flap at Millard North High School (location unknown). |
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Jun '00
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Is That a Pistol in Your Pocket?
By: Dawn Ivory
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Spraying semen on a child may offend public sensibility but it isn't a felony sex crime, argued attorney Mark NeJame on behalf of his 29-year-old client, as reported by the
Orlando Sentinel.
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May '00
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Marriage as Institution
By: Dawn Ivory
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Thanks to the e-reader who noted
Los Angeles Times' attention paid to the Gore Vidal interview in
Genre magazine. |
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May '00
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More on Ancient Crappers...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Reading of Dawn's fascination with ancient Roman toilets (April 2000 - click here), a thoughtful reader sent in a review of Keith Hopkins's
A World Full of Gods: Pagans, Jews, and Christians in the Roman
Empire. |
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May '00
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Poor Dick's Autobiography
By: Dawn Ivory
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Ben Franklin has always struck Dawn as a complex figure: scientist, diplomat, Salada tea bag moralist. |
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Apr '00
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Handi Wipes
By: Dawn Ivory
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Given Dawn's ass fascination it's no surprise that a news blurb in The Economist regarding differences in Europeans' toilet paper preferences piqued. |
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Apr '00
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Locker or Room?
By: Dawn Ivory
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Recently, the television series Nova had a special on Roman baths; pre-show teasers promised that the inner workings of the opulent, aqueduct-fed tubs would be revealed. |
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Mar '00
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Prude Nabbed
By: Dawn Ivory
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It seems that Donald Ray Rink, 66, president of the Elkhart City Park Board, was arrested in that burg's McNaughton Park, after he "behaved in an indecent manner with an undercover male police
officer," according to police reports. |
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Mar '00
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Buttocks Judged 'Degrading'
By: Dawn Ivory
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What's the point of high school football if you can't enjoy some quality buttmeat?
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Feb '00
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Two Bits Worth
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn has read wire reports that a former Iraqi soccer star says he and other players were tortured when they played badly, by order of President Saddam Hussein's
son. |
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Feb '00
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The Top of the Heap
By: Dawn Ivory
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Some readers have accused Dawn of being unpatriotic, an unfair charge since Dawn is regularly pointing out ways "we're number one!" |
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Feb '00
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News from the Swamp
By: Dawn Ivory
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Amnesty International protests that prison officials in Louisiana require HIV-positive inmates to wear a electro-shock 50,000 volt "stun belt" |
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Feb '00
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Nancy's Boy
By: Dawn Ivory
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Edmund Morris, author of the recently-released Reagan bio
Dutch, includes this little snippet as part of his "fictionalized" narrator's boyhood remembrance of the high-school Reagan: |
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Feb '00
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Falwell, Clinton, Birch: Differences in Style
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn has read much about homo reverend Mel White's meeting with the gluttonous, homophobic Jerry Falwell. |
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Jan '00
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Now You See It...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Thanks to the Los Angeles reader who faxed Dawn a clip about Walt Disney's censorship of the DVD version of
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? |
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Jan '00
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Snips and Snails
By: Dawn Ivory
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A recent issue of Pediatrics, reports on a case in North Carolina, wherein a two-year-old boy developed pubic hair, facial acne, and an enlarged penis. |
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Jan '00
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Always Wipe Away from Mecca...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn is amazed what one can find on the net. What attitudes do orthodox Muslims have about shit, excreta, and toilet habits, you ask? |
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Dec '99
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Dubya's Texas Record: Nothing to Sniff at...
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn was startled when the Texas Department of Criminal Justice responded to a request for the number of prisoners behind bars for possession of cocaine... |
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Dec '99
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Speaking of Coke and Presidential Candidates....
By: Dawn Ivory
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"Slumping," "sagging," and "stumbling" Al Gore has been forced to admit that the Democratic primary is now a real contest between the VP and Bill Bradley. |
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Dec '99
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Bad Sex Justifies Murder
By: Dawn Ivory
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Elvis Costello has crooned the lyrics "I used to be disgusted/ Now I try to be amused," an apt admonition for political junkies threatened with hypocrisy overdose during presidential campaigns. |
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Nov '99
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New Modesty?
By: Dawn Ivory
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Thanks to the alert New York reader who sent Dawn a clip from the
Philadelphia Inquirer detailing how some modest teenage boys are giving up competitive
swimming rather than appear at meets in revealing Speedo racing suits. |
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Nov '99
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Oxymorons
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn was amused to read propaganda from the oxymoronically-named "Marriage Equality," a New York group agitating to include homos in the institution of
marriage. |
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Oct '99
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Chris Rocks
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn has always been impressed with comedian Chris Rock; he manages to be basically wholesome while retaining an edge that keeps him meaningful. |
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